1st . I get to know you . slowly slowly .. my feelings for you grew stronger. .
but i dare not confess. few months later you have your girl .
And the girl ain't me . I kept quiet and still dare not tell you i love you.
2nd . Both of your broke up . You , the guy thats feeling sad.
I started talking to you.. slowly feelings grew . But we ain't together .
You said you don't want to hurt anymore girls . okay That sentence hurt me .
But i accept it since its your decision . Then we behave kinda like so cor couple
.. *sorry im feeling too sad to feel ashame of saying this * slowly feelings grew
but 1 day i neglect you for 2 days just because i can finaly play maple
*ok its so lame for game *
and i said drifting apart huhS? and you said ya .
then slowly you kinda neglect me too
. Then i say lets walk diff paths ..cux i kept neglect you ..
i dwuwant this to happen any longer *if im not wrong* then you went silent.
Ever since you went silent my heart hurts.
You might think i have my game and the game helped me
remove you from my heart.
okay few weeks later you got a girlfriend .
i was like ...hais.. should i congrats you? my heart hurts.
but i didnt say anything. i dare not confess. and i lost you ..
i still have feelings for you. i haven't forget you .
even though i was in a relationship .i still can't forget you..
i give others chance and went on relationship with them
to help me try to forget you..
but .. it didn't work . Lie-ing to them saying i love them
but i don't, really hurts.
3rd. Now 19 october 2008 i decide to say it out .
theese few days . I wasted alot of tears crying for you ..
i know you don't have feeling for me .
Now typing out what i felt made me cry again Now my tears are dripping
on my* ji qiong fan* ( a kind of food )cannot eat it le .
Some more listen to broken love songs. my heart hurts even more .
I love you madly. But you said the sentence again
saying you wanna be single .ohya i forgot to say i finally mannaged to
confess my feelings for you thanks to lin jie she kept encouraging me
hoping we could be together . But things didn't turn out that way..
i really regret letting you go last time.. but its too late huhs ?
i really need a hug now i really wanna cry out . But no one to .
I can't tell my parents about it . They might find me stupid .
Today lin jie in trouble . yesterday her papa scold her.
She's kinda same like me for studies . We * me and jie *
are the type that studdy when our parents not around.
i mean when we study our parents also dwunt know .
Why ?! why must they see the ugly side then the nice side? i tried my best.
i studdied when they are not looking but why ?! my result not so good. But i did ,
done my best. Yet they.. still .. hais. WHO TO share my burden with ?
MY MOther attitude damn like bomb anytime can bomb and scold me .
zz not happy scold me . wtfs ? i dam sad why my life like that lahs ?
When will she find a time to understand me . It seems. i and my family .
have age gap . im the youngest which .. they hate the most...
okay you can say they hate me .what can i do? curse my life ?
i dwunt wanna die so early man . but this is hell !
i just have to bear it for awhile huhS? my mum..
forbids most of my relationship . Breaking my relationship with my ex up .
Why cant she just let me fall in love ?
i know she afraid i might get bullied by guys.
But , Not all guys are like that .. zz Now she made me kept secrets to
my self i dwunt intend on telling her anything anymore.
She always keep me at home kennot go out. Now im like an idiot.
I also dwunt know how to go out . i mean..
i Dwunt know most of the place in singapore .
then when people ask me go out . My courage shrinked.
She! my mother! make me lose courage on going out!
Does she know how much im suffering?!
Im damn heart broken now . I've even thought of find a
job keep my money secretly then run away from home.
zz But how? even go mac buy thing.. i dwunt even dare
to order cux i dwuknow how to ! She kept me at home for so long ..
make me dwunknow how to order thing.. then when sis
ask me order thing i say i dwuknow then they say
LEARN LARH and forced me to cor.
DOTHEY EVER THINK HOW I FELT?!
HOW CAN I LEARN BY JUST PHONE CALLING?! pig ar?!
i dam hope im not from this family man!
GOT AGE GAP MEANS CAN BULLY ME UH?! FUN UH?!
FUCKTARD LAH. zz I SO GONNA MAKE YOU ALL
DISGRACE ONE DAY JUST YOU WAIT! . ALL ! accept for my father.
My father only seldom talk to me but at least he didn't
make me lose my face , by asking me doing the things i
dwunknow how to . Does anyone understand how im feeling?!
I can't do anything for now cux im still small but just they wait!
But if they cAn turn things i might at least consider letting it go .
I know some might say im like a kid complaining . Of cause they
ain't suffering how i am suffering now .Dam no mood lahs now ?
I really wanna fall in love man but im stuck here ?
anyone help me to forget , and get me outa here?
Oh god please man must my life be like this ?i guess its retribution..
for hurting many guys w/o thinkig how they might felt

stopped 3:14 pm